This blog will no longer be updated. You can find me now at Pearl & Whimsy and read why I started a new blog! Thank you for following me and Hello Zelda, you can continue to read more at the new blog!
Pearl & Whimsy
01 July, 2017This blog will no longer be updated. You can find me now at Pearl & Whimsy and read why I started a new blog! Thank you for following me and Hello Zelda, you can continue to read more at the new blog!
About a week and a half ago I went a little trip to my dad's for a quick visit. I stay in Glasgow and he lives in England near London, so I don't get to see him very often, if at all really. The visit was kind of a disaster, but I did manage to have a good nosey through the duty free before the flight on the way home. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy after spending time with family to cheer you up. Plus, the airport was insanely busy and I was bored just waiting around.
I didn't go wild as I'm trying to put a bit of money aside for savings. I bought two books and two beauty bits. The first book I bought was Get Your Sh*t together by Sarah Knight. I've read her other book so many times, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, which is a very good and lighthearted read about how to control exactly how much fucks you can give to a certain situation before you need to pull away from it. This time it's about organising your life and essentially getting your shit together to get exactly what you need to get done and doing it now.
The second book I bought was Find Calm by Anna Barnes. It's basically a little book full of meaningful quotes, tips and tricks to remain calm whilst under pressure of stress. I haven't finished this one, I've been picking it up here or there and reading a few passages but I think that's sometimes the way these books are meant to be read, in small chunks at a time.
As usual, I ended up wandering around all the beauty bits and found the Origins counter. I had used a sample of the charcoal mask before and remembered loving it so decided to buy a full size one. I've only used it once and so far I can't tell if it's working. I've came out in a lot of spots and blemishes but I don't know if that's because it's bringing out any imperfections to the skins surface? I'm also drinking a lot more water now so again that might be affecting it slightly. Who knows, I'll keep going with it anyway.
I also bought another Molton Brown hand cream as I absolutely adore them! I usually get the rhubarb and rose one but I couldn't find it there so bought the pink pepperpod instead which also smells so good. A little goes a long way with these little tubes as well, one will generally last me about 4-6 weeks before I need another.
I love duty free, I'm already looking into flights again soon, so maybe there will be some more buys shortly. There's also something I love about flying, it's just so peaceful and serene. I always get a window seat so I can stare out the window to the clouds and watch the ground disappear below me and I very rarely get out my seat once my seatbelt is on anyway. Hopefully next time I fly it won't be met with disastrous family get-togethers.
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On Sunday I turned 26. The weekend before I had a full breakdown on my couch about my life, specifically, my professional life, or lack thereof.
I never thought with all my plans as a child and a teenager that I'd be sat on my couch crying my eyes out worrying that I'm working in a dead end job, with no career prospects and no foot in the door as to what I want to do with my life. I mean, aren't you supposed to decide that in high school? Primary school, even? I wanted to be vet until I came to the conclusion that I couldn't put an animal to sleep or else I'd spend the rest of my life constantly heartbroken. I then decided I wanted to be a singer and my dad put a stop to that. I wanted to be an artist after that but again, "there's no money in art", according to my dad.
So I spent the last few years of my teenage life studying a subject I had little to no interest in before deciding that maybe it wasn't for me and strolled into a full time job. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed living a lifestyle of never really wanting anything, because I could go out and buy it. Between my income and Craig's we've been living a pretty comfortable life the last few years.
But it's not enough any more. I literally wake up every morning and think about quitting over and over again because I don't want to be there. The thought of spending eight hours a day being yelled at down the phone genuinely makes me feel so anxious to the point where I consider just not turning up. Then something happened, an almost snap decision. It started with my manager essentially saying that to get to where he is now he had to take a cut in pay. He went from being paid more as a simple customer service assistant to manager and getting paid less. I don't even know how that works, but it's not where I want to be put it that way.
I'm playing with the idea of going back into studying full time, in something that I'm actually interested in. I haven't applied for anything yet, but the thought of going back to study genuinely excites me. If I'm going to be paid a minimum wage job, I'd rather it be in something I love. If I was happy in my work, I wouldn't care as much about working long hours or travelling a lot or even getting paid buttons. I'd know that I'm spending the majority of my day doing something I care about.
I know loving your job is luxury these days and I shouldn't be so picky given that so many people don't have a full time job, but it's a luxury I'm going to try and find. If I don't, at least I tried.
Thanks to all these thoughts, I was kind of bummed out on my birthday, especially after I told my mum I was considering going back to study. Luckily I have Craig and he made everything ten times better. He's actually one of the reasons I'm thinking about doing this, he almost earns double what I do, and I don't want him being the primary breadwinner any more, I'd like things to be fairer and even. Right now, we don't split the bills evenly, he pays for two thirds of rent, council tax etc. Mainly because if we'd to half it down the middle I'd have almost nothing left. So yeah, I'm doing it kind of for him too.
Anywhoozle, I'm off to go and enjoy the rest of my evening. I've got a new episode of Attack on Titan to watch - hopefully this time something exciting will actually happen. (stupid anime is dragging everything out now!)
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"You're always on your phone.." - yeah, I am.
That's a sentence I hear maybe every other day or so. I'm always on my phone, either scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, reading blogs or maybe just browsing on Etsy for something cute to buy. But yeah, the point is, when I'm sitting about, my phone is usually in my hand or sitting next to me.
I pay £50 for my contract, of course I'm going to use it constantly - mainly to validate spending so much damn money on it each month.
So when it comes to phones, why are we constantly stuck in a position where we look down at a tiny screen rather than looking at the world around us? I'll tell you why, cause the world around us sucks. Most of the time.
Online you can cultivate your own little world full of people you want to talk to, things you want to see and read and generally keep your eyes fixed on things you're interested in. I can browse cute photos of animals to cheer myself up, I can look at newer and better ways to meal plan as I'm currently so bad at it, I can check my bank balance and cry at the lack of money I should have after spending so much on Etsy, I can look on pinterest for new ways to decorate my journal or some craft ideas. You get the picture.
I wouldn't say it's necessarily a bad things to be on your phone a lot of the time. I mean, I don't sit on my phone if I'm out and about with family or friends, but when I'm just sitting about or relaxing, I'm probably going to spend half an hour browsing through memes. Which, in my opinion, is always a good idea.
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After spending a whole weekend inside, only seeing Craig, I've realised that I'm definitely in the category of introvert. So I thought I'd write out five small ways to tell if you're an introvert. I've also added a scale at the bottom and put where I think I'd be. Not 100% sure, but maybe halfway between introvert and ambivert.
1. You prefer time spent alone.
I am definitely all for this one. I know Craig and I live together and I'm never really technically alone most of the time, but we spend an equal amount of our time in the flat doing our own thing. He has his hobbies and I have mine. We of course spend time together, but for at least a few hours each day I have time completely to myself. Which is glorious and I use it doing whatever I want. Mostly relaxing.. or sleeping.
2. You're more likely to stay quiet in a group discussion.
This is a difficult one for me, because I can and will voice my opinions if I need to, but I most definitely prefer staying back and sitting on the sidelines. I don't like being the centre of attention and knowing that everyone in the room is listening to me when I speak makes me super nervous. I'd much rather sit and listen to what others have to say and observe the situation than add my two cents.
3. You find small talk incredibly annoying.
I've said this countless times over, I hate small talk. I think it's because I know it comes across as insincere. Not a fan in any way. I'll participate, because it's rude otherwise, but inside I'm hating it.
4. You might find it difficult making new friends.
This one is me all over, I find it difficult to build and maintain friendships. In fact, the people I'd consider my closest friends have been that way for around eight years, mainly because I only really have one social group. I just don't know how to approach people. So many times I've seen someone tweet something and I'm like YES, I should be friends with you, and I don't because I'm too nervous to actually say anything.
5. Talking about yourself gives you the fear.
This one is probably my biggest problem, I hate talking about myself, especially in a professional context. I have to fill out these stupid report things in work where they assess your goals and you have to write down examples of when you've done something great and the other day when I was scheduled to do this, I felt almost physically sick. I hate the idea of having to sell myself to someone. I mean, it all just sounds so fake.
Where would you put yourself on the scale? Apparently most people generally fall under the bracket of ambivert and often feel like they have inner arguments with themselves about what kind of personality they actually have, which is interesting. I'd definitely say I'm more introvert and probably always will be.
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I don't blog anywhere near as regularly as I used to. In fact, my blog following hasn't increased in probably around a year or so, simply because I pulled away from the blogging community as it had lost the fun appeal for me.
There is one simple reason to why I lost my interest in blogging - it got so serious.
I noticed it gradually happening and then, literally in what seemed like the space of a few weeks, blogging went from this casual thing that a lot of people took part in because it made them happy and brought like minded people closer together, to a competitive business that people took so mind-numbingly seriously.
Okay, let's get a few things straight first.
I'm fully aware that some people make a living from their blogs, from sponsored posts to ad revenue etc, which is totally fine and is actually pretty amazing. I'm also aware that a lot of people are trying to get to the point where they can make a living from it, which is also totally fine and well done to you for cultivating a business from a hobby.
That being said, for most bloggers out there, I'll refer you back to my last point there - Blogging is a hobby. At least from my perspective anyway. I don't know why this sudden in shift in blogging went from normal, every day people chatting about their daily lives and what things had interested them that week to full on daily posts about make up and fashion, where they've always got the newest item out or the latest make up release. First of all, how do you honestly afford to keep up with all the trends? Are you just doing it for the blog?
I liked it better when blogging was personal and you could see a person's personality shine through their words or their photos. Now, when I look at a lot of blogs, it's all very similar. The same reviews of the same products, the same style of posts and general lack of identity there used to be.
And then you have the other type of bloggers. The non-blogging bloggers. I'm talking about the Insta-Bloggers etc. The ones who have a theme of pastel and flowers and minimal photos. The ones that follow you for three days and then unfollow you again. The same people with 17,364 followers and they only follow 400. Again, there's no personality there. People ued to post things about their lives and now it's just a cultivated pinterest life that looks pretty but is now getting to be mega boring.
People take blogging way too seriously, in my opinion, and I think that it needs to be clawed back a little bit. Go back to posting your daily updates, photos you took of your pets, favourite songs at the moment. I miss posts like that. I miss people being real on their blog.
Let me know what you think or if you've shared the same thought about blogging. Or, if you think I'm being too cynical, let me know that, too.
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two. I booked a flight to go down and see my dad. I haven't seen him in almost two years so it'll be weird to catch up. The circumstances for me going down to see him are actually very unfortunate, however I can try and put a positive spin on it. Like, I'll get to see my baby sister again, who I've only seen once. And I'll actually get to meet my baby brother for the first time! I also get to fly again, I love flying, so much easier and quicker than getting the train,
three. I ordered loads and loads of stickers from RedBubble, a website full of people's designs and prints and things. They have an app, which makes it very dangerous for me because I'm always looking at things to buy on my phone. I put the stickers all over my laptop, a few on my journals and a few on my wall. You can see the tiny little Charlie head from Always Sunny in Philadelphia at the top of my prints in the photo above. It's so cute.
four. I also ordered two prints from a lovely little Etsy shop, the Gemini print and the multi-coloured paint print are both from the same shop. The lovely lady who makes the prints sent them out super quick and even replied to my twitter message to thank me for my order. It really is the little things that make you happy.
five. I dyed my hair red. I said I would never dye my hair red again, after the amount of effort it took to get rid of it the last time, but here we are. I can't help myself. I honestly think I'll never escape having red hair. I actually tried to dye my hair pink, but in my lack of knowledge and skill with hair dye, it went red. I suppose I can always go over it again. My hair is already pretty damaged, what's one more dye?
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I often come across as an open book to a lot of people. I don't really have much of a filter for every day things, especially in work, where I should probably be filtering my thoughts the most. The trouble with this is that people think they know me really well, when in fact, anything that I do blurt out is trivial in light of the things that I'm really thinking or doing.
So to make up for this, here are a few things I wish people offline knew about me.
I don't like people in my personal space.
I'm not a touchy feely person, I kind of never have been. I don't like the whole cuddle someone every time you see them thing, I don't like people sitting too close to me so that our bodies are touching, I don't like knowing someone is standing right beside me with no space in between. It makes me feel physically weird. I mean, there are exceptions to this, with Craig or immediate family etc. Or, if you're upset and I feel you need a cuddle, then I'll do it. But you better appreciate it, because I did not want to do that.
I'm very sensitive about certain things.
I generally have a no care attitude to most things people can say about me, but there are a few small things that actually make me very sensitive. I don't like it when people call me thin, because I know I'm not, I just live in baggy clothes and know how to dress for my weight. I'm actually very conscious about my size. I don't like it when people look at me for too long, especially during a conversation. I find it very difficult to maintain eye contact for a long period of time.
I hate it when someone thinks I'm lying.
Something I've never been comfortable with is lying to people, and according to my dad - who would literally always catch me when I was lying - said it was very easy to spot it when I was trying to lie. So I stopped. Now, when I think someone thinks I'm lying, it makes me so angry and it ends up being a difficult situation. You try to convince them you're not lying and the more you try to do this, the more you look like a liar. It's a no-win scenario. A Kobayashi Maru. (Any Star Trek fans here? No? Okay.)
I'm almost always talking to myself in my head.
I've done this ever since I was very little. I wouldn't say I'm having conversations with myself, but I'm pretty much always playing through a film in my head by speaking the lines, singing away to myself, thinking of quotes from tv shows or generally just voicing what's going on around me. All internally, of course. Think of it like a J.D from Scrubs type thing, minus the head tilt.
I hate small talk.
I don't understand it. It's the same conversation, over and over. "Hi, how're you?", "I'm good, thanks. How're you?", "Yeah, good.". End of conversation. I don't mind the odd bit of small talk with someone I haven't seen in a while because I know that it will be leading to a real conversation. But daily conversations of the same thing make my eyes roll so hard.
So there you go, a teensy insight into me as a person. Which, in reality, all those points kind of make me look like a dick to people, but I promise I'm not. I just hide it all really well.
Anyone else feel the same way?
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I've never really considered myself to be one of the popular ones. From early childhood, right the way through to adulthood, I've always felt a little bit alienated from people. This was something I managed to hide fairly well in high school, pretending I was enjoying going to the pub every week and house parties every other weekend. When, in reality, I was more than happy staying at home to read or draw. Not even more than happy, I would have 100% preferred it. I enjoyed the once in a blue moon outing, but every week was a test of my ability to hide my inner introvert.
This is something I've chosen not to hide any more. I'm not a particularly sociable person and I don't have a problem not attending something simply because I don't want to, social pressure doesn't get to me any more. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and spending time with them dearly, but I don't feel the need to see them every other day. That makes me sound like an insufferable drone, but honestly, they know me well enough to know that's just how I am.
With that being said, the thought of spending an evening curled up in a blanket watching a boxset or something on Netflix is far more appealing to me than going out to a bar, getting squished by people dancing and spending fifteen minutes trying to get a drink because I'm not booby enough to be noticed by the bar staff - sorry, but it's true.
It's taken me a while to accept this. I'm perfectly comfortable being a house-mouse in my own company.
Not too sure on the reason behind this post, think I'm feeling a bit thoughtful tonight.
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Right now I'm sitting under my window, with thunder and lighting happening outside and listening to Paramore's new Album. Feeling pretty good!
one. It's been super sunny and hot here the last few days, so it's encouraged me to get my dangerously un-tanned skin out in the sunshine. I always realise just how pale I am when I need to get my legs out. Which is a rare moment and only happens when I literally can't bare being in jeans in the heat. The little burst of summer was welcomed with open arms, beer gardens and pub trips.
two. Craig and I went to an amazing thing at Glasgow Science Centre, it was a Pink Floyd evening in the planetarium listening to the Dark Side of the Moon album with an amazing visual display to match the music. I know that album inside and out but listening to it on that scale with all the visuals just made it that more special. I usually get motion sickness for things like that as well but I was so drawn into the music that it didn't bother me in the slightest.
three. On Friday I went to a Rick and Morty pub quiz in Glasgow with Craig and a few friends. It was a really good night and even though we didn't win, I think we all had a good time. My only gripe with the entire night was how loud the music was during the quiz. I mean, that sounds like such an annoying thing to say about music, BUT it was in a pub during a quiz and we couldn't actually hear each other speak to discuss the answers, we were literally signing to each other. To put this in perspective, one of the answers was Principle Vagina (yep, really) but I couldn't hear what was being said so he had to pretty much scream vagina at me three times from across the table. Other than that, it went shwifty.
four. I've been having some pretty serious pains in my arm the last week or so then finally decided to go to the doctors about it. After about ten minutes of poking, twisting and squeezing my arm she came to the conclusion that it's most likely nerve damage. So I've been given some strong pain killers, some anti-inflammatories and some more medication for my heartburn. So many daily tablets!
five. Craig, being the wonderful boyfriend that he is, treated me to a massage in a wonderful little spa. It was a forty five minute massage to help with the pain in my arm and the girl was shocked at how many knots there are in my shoulders and back. I've been given some exercises and stretches to do to try and loosen them and will probably need to go back for another massage soon. Not that I'm complaining though.
All in all, it's been a pretty good week and I've still got the bank holiday Monday to look forward to. Now I'm off to catch up on last weeks episode of Attack on Titan before this week comes out!
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The last few days have been a small glimpse into the warm weather to come and I can honestly say I am so looking forward to some sunshine and heat. Whilst I do love being cosy in jumpers and scarves etc, there's nothing I love more than heading outside in a pair of shorts & t-shirt and just walking about enjoying the sun. Which is exactly what Craig and I did. Although it's not quite warm enough for shorts, a pair of light trousers were substituted. We took a wander down along the river and back again, which took about two hours but it was nice to just walk, even in silence.
Things have almost slowed to a stop recently. We've been saving for a mortgage so we haven't been able to go out and do as many things that we usually do, but it'll all be worth it when we finally own our home. Which we probably should have sorted a while ago, but anyway. Other than that, I'd say I've completely disconnected from the internet. I've deactivated and deleted Facebook - it's rubbish anyway, just full of fake news, animal cruelty videos, and people updating that they're either at the gym or having dinner - I've stopped blogging. I've even stopped reading blogs, which I never thought I'd do. It's just lost all interest for me and I don't think I'll find that interest again any time soon.
I can't keep up with other bloggers any more, it just feels more like a competition between all these massive bloggers and all the little bloggers are bitching and moaning about literally everything that happens online. I swear, some people need to calm down and realise that it's simply just a blog sometimes.
I know I shouldn't say that, blogging for some people is their job/career, but yeah, sometimes it's a little too much to read and feels like people get angry for the sake of it.
Anyway, this was a quick little update to say I'm still alive and well. Mostly. I'll try and get back to a normal routine around here eventually. Or, I might give up on 2017 and hold out for 2018 for HelloZelda and go for a fresh start. We'll see.
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I've worn glasses for pretty much as long as I can remember. The first time I can clearly remember getting a pair of glasses I refused to look through them and instead wore them at the bottom of my nose so I could look over the frames. My mum soon caught wise though and that was swiftly stopped. I think I was about four when I got my first pair, twenty-two years later and I'm still wearing glasses and probably will for the rest of my life.
Glasses have always been something that bothered me. I was bullied in primary school for wearing glasses, being called the usual "specky" and such. Yet now, people actually buy glasses to wear without prescriptions in them because they're fashionable. If I'd have known this was going to be the case so many years later I wouldn't have let it bother me as much as it did!
Since that point, I've been wanting to get glasses that I feel suit me. I generally always had my glasses chosen for me by my mum and then because my prescription is so high, she always had to pay to have them thinned so I wouldn't have massive thick lenses that would have probably added to the teasing at the time. Now, I'm obviously choosing my own my frames, I like to go for a certain style. Which pretty much comes down to a black frame, with either thick legs or frameless at the bottom. I used to always go to Specsavers, but then I discovered that if you have a copy of your prescription, you can essentially buy them online, and they're generally (in my experience anyway) cheaper to buy.
I have three pairs of glasses at the moment, one from Specsavers, which are the ones with the pink at the end of the legs, a pair from Glasses Direct which are the thicker framed pair and then a pair from Glasses Shop, which are the Wayfarer style.
I do actually love wearing my glasses now, and my favourite pair has to be the Wayfarer Style from Glasses Shop. They're the comfiest and easiest to wear and the style I think suits my face really well. As I have a high prescription the lenses are quite thick, and given they're essentially frameless at the bottom, it makes the thick lens really easy to see. People with normal small prescriptions would never have this problem, though.
It's this pair I usually choose to wear out of the house and keep the other two as my sort of casual sit in types as they aren't as fancy looking, basically!
If you interested in ordering your glasses online, all you need is your prescription which you can easily get by asking for a printed copy from your optician. Then you just type in your details and order whatever frames you like. Glasses Shop currently have a buy one get one free sale on too! There's a few pairs on there I'm probably going to order on payday at the end of the month, including a pair with gold detailing on the frames!
What do you think of ordering glasses online?
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Hearts Teapot - link
Minimal Watch - link
Silver Tote - link
Geo Design Bag - link
Rose & Gold Berry - link
Raised Design Mug - link
Mother's Day is fast approaching and if like me, you struggle to not only buy gifts, but to find the right gifts for people. Luckily for me my mum isn't the most subtle, she literally tells me the things she wants me to get her. This year it seems to be focussing on a new tattoo and a new bag for work. Getting her a tattoo might be difficult as that would take a lot of planning, however the bag I have completely sorted.
She was wanting a simple shoulder bag, with a bit of structure but not overly complicated and when I spotted the design on the Geo Design bag, I instantly knew she'd love it. The bag itself comes in it's own little pouch to keep it protected whilst it's in transit and it was delivered in just over a day, which makes shopping for purchases so close to the day really easy. The material feels lovely but sturdy, like it will last for a very long time without showing any signs of wear. My mum is a bit similar to me in terms of style, she likes very minimal things and the monochrome design suits her perfectly. I can't wait until Sunday to give it to her!
I also had a look at some other things to maybe treat her with and quite honestly, I'll probably order myself a few things, especially that Orla Kiely mug, it's super cute! You also can't go wrong with flowers, and the Rose and Berry faux flowers in the vase look lovely. I also love the adorable little teapot with the polka-dot hearts, it's more my dream teapot than my mum's but you know, it's the thought that counts right?
Have you got things sorted for Mother's Day?
I know some people find Mother's Day hard, so this post is meant with the best intentions and I wish you all the love in the world if you're spending it without your mum! ♥
* This post was written in collaboration with Amara. All opinions are my own. *
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I've been bullet journalling close to a year now and after looking through my collection of notebooks and journals I thought I could do a little giveaway for one of my absolute favourite types of notebook. I've been flitting to and from all sorts of journals etc and always find myself going back to Leuchtturm 1917 with dotted pages. It just fits everything you need from a bullet journal. So that's what this giveaway will be for, a Leuchtturm 1917 in your chosen colour and style. You can see the colours and styles here. I'll also be adding a few little smaller stationery bits and pieces that I think are super cute, but they're being kept a secret for now!
I've included a few photos below, or you can always search for bullet journalling on youtube and see the vast majority of videos feature the Leuchtturm 1917. All you have to do to enter is follow my blog on Bloglovin and leave a comment in this blog post stating why you'd like to begin bullet journalling or, if you already do, why you started. You can also follow me on Instagram and Twitter for two extra entries. If you also follow on my Twitter or Instagram, let me know in the comments as well!
You can use the rafflecopter below to enter! Giveaway will run from the 20th March until the 9th of April and is only open to UK readers. Apologies to any international readers, I was recently stung with sending something overseas and had to pay a hefty fee in doing so. I promise I'll do something else in the near future!
Thanks for sticking around as well! I realise that I've kind of let it slip around here slightly, so this is also as a sort of thank you for still being here! ♥
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Okay, so first of all, hello! Second of all, I've not blogged in over two months. I started off this year with the best of intentions to be blogging every other day and then, I just didn't. No excuses, no reasons behind it, I just didn't. Although I've still been reading all my favourite blogs regularly, I just felt no urge to actually post anything myself. So, to make up for the last two months, here's a quick recap.
1. Craig and I adopted two baby rats.
We found two female rats at around ten weeks old or so that were up for adoption and I instantly fell in love with them. We named them Navi and Sweet Dee and they are the most adorable little things! When we got them they were sick with something called Mycoplasma, which is the reason they were up for adoption. After around of month of antibiotics and lots of treats they seem to be back to they're normal (almost) healthy selves.
2. We also adopted two guinea pigs.
After having the rats a few weeks, Craig really wanted guinea pigs and then we found two females that were perfect. They're so incredibly shy still, despite having them almost two months, they still run from us and they only really surface when they know they're being given treats or vegetables. Other than the shyness, they're so amazingly cute. We named them Snow and Willow.
3. I got signed off probation.
I'm a permanent member of staff now at my new job, which is a massive weight off my mind. I absolutely hate being on probation and the fear of being let go at any moment, but at least now I have a bit more job security.
4. I got my nose pierced. Again.
This is the third time I've had my nose pierced and I fully intend of this being the last time. I've had to take my nose piercings out previously due to restrictions at work, but everything seems to be cool at the this new place.
5. I turned into Wednesday Addams.
By that I mean I dyed my hair dark brown. Like, almost black. It's pretty weird because I've had fairly light brown year the past few years and now it's all dark again. I just need to perfect my resting bitch face and I'll have the full ensemble.
6. The Nintendo Switch entered my life.
Even though I'm a massive fan of Zelda and Nintendo, I wasn't planning on getting the Switch on launch day, as I was waiting to see how the console handled after a few weeks of play to see it would last. However, launch day came, and I couldn't bare the thought of not having one to play Breath of the Wild on the day it came out. Honestly, the game is surreal. The world to explore is huge for a Zelda game and the gameplay is so intuitive. I've only been managing to play for a few hours each day after work and I'm still no where near completion, the game is that big!
I'll probably be back to blogging every week or so again, until I can get back into the swing of things. I have a few posts that need to be put online shortly, so they should be up over the next week I think. Anyway, I'm off to go try and save Hyrule.
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I've always kind of floated around on my own.
I mean, I've always had friends, but none that have made it into adulthood. The people I was friends with in primary school and high school have all but vanished into the never ending timeline of Facebook.
After high school, I just wasn't interested in staying in touch with anyone. For the most part, I only sat with friends during breaks and lunches so as not feel like an outcast, but generally I would go to the music or art department and sit there either playing piano or drawing away. I'm not saying that the people I considered friends in high school were bad people, I just wouldn't have considered them lifelong friends. For example, I was never anyone's best friend, I would frequently be forgotten about and a lot of the time I was made fun of because, in the majority of my time spent there, I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend. That didn't change until half way through 5th year.
There were a few people that I would have considered close friends, but like most people, we gradually just drifted apart.
Now, I look at things slightly differently. I'm quite a loner.
I don't feel the need to be constantly in someone's company. I mean, not including Craig, I barely see anyone. My mum is the only exception, and I'm fine with that. I'm completely at ease with my own company. In fact, I actually prefer it. I like knowing I don't have to sit in an uncomfortable silence with someone because I hate making small talk. Or having to force myself to smile and laugh at jokes I just don't find funny.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly. But, I like to think they know me well enough to realise that it's nothing personal if I don't reply to their text. I've definitely read it, I just probably won't reply.
I think I need to be in the mood to socialise with people, and these days, those moods are few and far between. I think my cynicism's have definitely gotten the better of me over the years, so it takes a lot for me to want to go out and socialise. However when I do go out, I always enjoy myself, I just need to be in right frame of mind to actually do so.
I'm not actually sure where I'm going with this post, I was just in the mood to sit at my laptop and see what came out.
Let me know if you've ever felt like this, it'd be nice to know that I'm not alone with feeling like a sociable loner.
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The title pretty much says it all, doesn't it?
Back around the end of October I spotted this book while wandering Glasgow central station. I was hesitant to get it as I figured I already had a kind of 'don't give a fuck' attitude, but this book opened my eyes into ways I could give less fucks.
I think 2016 was the year that I realised a lot about myself.
I don't need to constantly chat with someone, either friends or family. I'm so content in my own company that in all honesty, I sometimes find chatting and small talk so tedious. I can manage it for a short period of time and then, after a while, all my awkwardness starts to seep out and I either get really weird or I think of some excuse and walk off. Or, similarly, I just won't text you back. It's nothing personal, I'm just not that into chatting about every-little-detail of your life. Soz.
I also found that I don't give a fuck about what people think about me. I've generally always been like this, but more so recently. I read something that one of my family posted on Facebook, you know, those awful glittery moving gifs with an inspirational quote on them? This one was split into several parts, but the part that stood out most for me was "other people's opinions of you are none of your business". I mean, it sounds weird. But it actually made sense to me. Why should I care what other people think about me, it's not going to change their opinion of me just because I know what they're thinking. If they don't like me, me knowing that fact isn't going to suddenly make them like me any more than they already do. So now, I don't even bother myself with pretending to care.
But, the biggest thing this book taught me, was not to give a fuck about the little things. SO many things used to bother me. People cutting in front of me in a queue, everyone slamming forward to get on to the train when it pulls up (even though the train hasn't even finished moving yet!), slow walkers, etc. Now, none of that bothers me any more. And if I do feel that little inclination of annoyance, I just ignore it and focus on my own thoughts or what I'm doing.
Can we just all acknowledge that slow walkers are the worst, though?
That aside, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who would like the freedom of not giving a fuck, or if like me, you're looking to expand on your not giving a fuck-ness. I've read through this three times in the short space of time that I've had it. It generally lives in the bag I take to work, too, just case I need to remind myself to not give a fuck when I'm being crushed on a busy train home from work. Sometimes it's difficult, but it makes like so much simpler.
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Every year I get myself the limited edition Soap & Glory gift set they release at half price. They've done it for years and I never miss one. This year, with starting a new job and not having much money to spare I couldn't buy myself it. I know, woe is me. However, my wonderful mammabear got me one for Christmas. I was genuinely intrigued when I went snooping under the Christmas tree to feel the presents and I couldn't figure out what this tin thing was. I opened it up on Christmas morning both excited and not surprised that she got me it, as I'm positive I mentioned to her at some point about getting it during the Christmas period.
This year has been my absolute favourite yet. I was a little disappointed in last years one, but this year has completely upped the game. So many full size products that I absolutely love, including the Sugar Crush body wash, Scrub of your Life, Righteous Butter and Hand Food. I've still to try out the face wash and the moisturiser but, so far, I've only heard good things about them so I cannot wait to give them a try. I'm not putting too much hope on the moisturiser as my face has always been very sensitive and is used to only a handful of products, but Ill give a try.
I'm not too sure what I'm going to do with the suitcase holder the products came in, as I generally keep all my body stuff in a drawer in the bedroom. I suppose I'll find something to use it for. If you have the same set, let me know what you're doing with the container as I need some idea. Unless that idea is to throw it away, as the hoarder in me would cry if I did that..
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First off, you'll have to excuse the photo quality, it was taken on my phone as I currently can't find the charger for my camera battery, so grainy iphone photos will have to do for now.
Second, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I can't believe it's 2017 already. I've already written 2016 twice today and had to scribble harder over the 6 with a childishly written 7. I can almost guarantee that it's going to happen for a few more weeks at least. I feel like I say this every year, but honestly, how quick did 2016 fly in? I can't help but agree with all the memes saying 2016 is the year that we just don't talk about any more. It really was a mostly shit year.
There were a few things that stood out for me. Craig and I moved back to Glasgow, we had a great holiday with loads of friends and I discovered that I don't feel the need to please people any more. That last one, honestly, if you're going to have a resolution for 2017, make it that. It's so refreshing to be able to say no to people and not feel guilty about it. However, it also came with it's bad points. Our beautiful little kitty sadly crossed that rainbow bridge, I've lost touch with several close friends and I barely see my family any more. So, there's plenty to improve on.
I've decided to actually give myself some resolutions this year. I usually avoid the whole 'new year, new me' rubbish but I'm going to try and give myself some small goals this year.
1. Cut out fizzy juice.
This is my biggest vice - coke. I drink so much every day and it's clearly not good for me. I weighed myself the other day and I almost sobbed at how much weight I've put on. I haven't changed my diet in years and I don't particularly eat that unhealthily, however the amount of coke I drink is stupid. Time to cut it down.
2. Start exercising and join a club.
I used to be so active. I had something planned every day of the week, Tae Kwon Do, badminton, trampolining, cross country running or literally just taking a pair of skates down to the skatepark. Now, I do nothing. It's so bad. I've let myself get so unfit that walking up a few flights of stairs is enough to take me down. I'll still pretend I'm fine at the top and do that awkward slow breathing so you can't hear I'm out of breath. Come on, you know what I'm talking about. No time like the present to change.
3. Save money for important things.
Craig and I have been talking about buying our own place for years now and we've never got around to actually saving for it. Again, no time like the present to start. We both earn a reasonable amount, so it shouldn't take too long to save a sizeable deposit.
That's all I'm really giving myself this year. I think I'll struggle with the coke one the most, as I genuinely have a glass of it sitting next to me as I type this. Stupid devil juice. I'll get there, though.
I've also set aside some small goals for my blog this year. I really want to get back into enjoying blogging as the last few months I seen it as nothing more than a chore, so I need to get excited about it again. I'm currently writing down a few ideas for now and fleshing them out, so we'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I'm off to finish my coke (without pouring another glass..) and watch a film. I've been watching through all of The Lord of the Rings again and then I'm moving onto The Hobbit. I love me a bit of Tolkien. Craig bought me a copy of The Silmarillion for Christmas and I don't know how I've gone so many years without reading it! If you like The Lord of the Rings then give a read, you won't be disappointed.
Again, happy new year to those of you who still read this little blog. Love you all!
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